It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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