and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
