He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I enjoy the company of your penis
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
