your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
