I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I understand Curling. That high.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
