it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize