Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
