there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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