so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
