ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
