I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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