he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize