I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
