just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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