pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
