y did u give ur computer a hand job?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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