dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize