Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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