hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
