Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
