I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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