I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
