Jerry, you need to find god
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
