Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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