my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
