She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't deserve a penis
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
