So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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