I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
