I need help removing her.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize