He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
