lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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