A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
