we made out on top of his cat.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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