As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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