We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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