She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
