you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
