Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize