would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
