you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Damn victory sex feels great
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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