he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
