Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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