I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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