id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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