Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
