does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
