my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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