Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
