I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize