So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
