found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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