i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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