Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
