In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
