I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize