It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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