How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
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