I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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