): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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