So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize