Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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