someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
