Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
