Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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