I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
jump out the window naked night went bad
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
