Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
3 2 1 whiskey
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize