my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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