Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
