Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
