So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
