Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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