The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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