Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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