All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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