Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize