There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
