plz talk dirty to me
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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