Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
