I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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