Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
